You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
