my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
