I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
