Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
