Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
...so i touched it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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