where am i from again
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
