guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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