you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
