I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
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Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.