yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma