i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
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I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
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Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least