Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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