Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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