Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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