How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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