Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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