mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
