Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
