drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
