On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
