hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
