Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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