our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
