Soap is not a condiment
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
