I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
