She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
