but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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