sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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