How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
