Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
