I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
