Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
