Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
