You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
