Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How does one acquire holy water?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
