on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
