That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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