get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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