If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize