Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
