Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
