I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
