He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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