is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
