I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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