I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Couch. On fire.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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