I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
