He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I need a beard to bite.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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