Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize