I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
