They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
