i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
