remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
