So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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