I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
