He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
