but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
