God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You need a sexual gate keeper
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
