We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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