the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize