Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want nice things and good sex
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
